Missing your old bff? Here’s how to reconnect with your estranged friend

Misunderstandings, miscommunication, fights, or sometimes simply ‘life happening’ can cause you to drift away from once-dear friends, leaving the connection lost. Rueful contemplation may lead you to wish to restore the friendship and mend the old bond. If you truly wish to reconnect and reach out to those old friends, Dr Arti Anand, Senior Consultant in Psychiatry at Sir Gangaram Hospital, explained how to reconnect with estranged friends in an interview with HT.
Establishing the first contact with the lost friend may be a daunting and awkward task, especially how things were left. It’s important to be clear on your intention for the reconciliation. Dr Arti Anand elaborated, “If you’re thinking about reconnecting with an old friend, it’s important to reflect on why you want to reach out. Is it because you miss them, want to rekindle the friendship, feel the need to apologize, or simply want to catch up?”
When it comes to re-establishing contact, Dr Anand provides guidance on how to approach the situation. It needs to be done mindfully. She suggested, “Depending on how much time has passed, approach the situation with sensitivity. Start with a light message or a casual call to check in and see how they’ve been. You might mention a fond memory you both shared to break the ice and make the conversation more personal.”
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A myriad of possibilities may run through your mind as you anticipate their response, with different scenarios playing out in your head. Dr. Anand revealed, “If they respond positively and seem happy to hear from you, gradually transition into discussing their present life while reminiscing about the past. Be respectful of their feelings and establish clear boundaries to avoid any awkwardness. Remember, your tone and approach should reflect genuine care and thoughtfulness.”
Furthermore, a lot can change in your estranged friend’s life over the years. Dr Anand advised being patient, flexible, and adapting to the changes in your friend’s life, whether it’s new friendships, a relationship, or a job. While much can evolve, it’s crucial to approach the situation with respect and patience. Slowly take time to warm up to each other, as a lot of time has passed and things might not be the same. Start by learning about each other and catching up on what has happened in their lives.
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